I woke up today (Monday) to do homework at six in the morning. It was rough getting up but I managed. I went to a friend’s to drink some coffee while doing homework. As I observed what I was wearing, I realized I did not really care that I was wearing pajamas and that my hair was not done. Since it was early I figured that I would not see anyone and decided to be comfortable. Around friends I do not really pay attention if my outfit looks good or not because I am able to be myself. In the process I also looked at the way I text on my phone; I saw that I put a lot of the word “lol” and use a lot of emoticons to express myself. When I thought about it I recognized texts that I was not exactly laughing but yet I still put “lol” after what I said. The reason for it is because I do not like to sound harsh and I realize that texting can come off in a different voice to different people, therefore “lol” to me makes things sound less dull. Emoticons help express what mood I am in and since texting is not face to face it just helps the person I am texting understand me better. I also paid attention that before class I was too concerned with what I was going to wear and how I was going to do my hair. When I communicate with others whom I do not know well I like to look presentable (by others I mean people in class, or anywhere). As I was talking to my friends today I saw that there were things that I could tell to one friend but not another because I know some of them just either would not understand or some that just look at things by their view point. I also saw that I kept certain things to myself and told no one. When I was talking to my dad, it made me realize that he is the one person I tell most things to because of the way he communicates with me in that he speaks as though he understood me exactly. This to me is how determine what I could tell one person but not another.
After turning off all electronics for an hour, I was with a friend and noticed that I was tempted within five minutes to look at my phone. It actually made me anxious not being able to look at my phone because I am so used to just looking or playing with my phone. I decided to do my reading homework and saw how well I was able to concentrate and how fast I finished. In the meantime after thirty minutes of reading, I just sat back and talked with my friend. After my anxious moments the first ten minutes it was okay, and kind of peaceful. It was kind of like a break from everyone because a lot of communication I do is on my phone. I already knew that not being able to use my phone was going to make me feel certain anxiety because I am normally shy and when I get anxious I instantly start using my phone or iPod.
This exercise made me realize that I am aware of my surroundings and that I pay too much attention on how people view me. I also saw that the way I communicate with others depends on the type of personality the other person has. The last part that I noticed was that electronics are a nuisance when doing homework. It also was nice to take a moment and look back at myself and who I am.