Self-reflection
I woke up today (Monday) to do
homework at six in the morning. It was rough getting up but I managed. I went
to a friend’s to drink some coffee while doing homework. As I observed what I
was wearing, I realized I did not really care that I was wearing pajamas and that
my hair was not done. Since it was early I figured that I would not see anyone
and decided to be comfortable. Around friends I do not really pay attention if
my outfit looks good or not because I am able to be myself. In the process I
also looked at the way I text on my phone; I saw that I put a lot of the word
“lol” and use a lot of emoticons to express myself. When I thought about it I
recognized texts that I was not exactly laughing but yet I still put “lol”
after what I said. The reason for it is because I do not like to sound harsh
and I realize that texting can come off in a different voice to different
people, therefore “lol” to me makes things sound less dull. Emoticons help
express what mood I am in and since texting is not face to face it just helps
the person I am texting understand me better. I also paid attention that before
class I was too concerned with what I was going to wear and how I was going to
do my hair. When I communicate with others whom I do not know well I like to
look presentable (by others I mean people in class, or anywhere). As I was
talking to my friends today I saw that there were things that I could tell to
one friend but not another because I know some of them just either would not
understand or some that just look at things by their view point. I also saw
that I kept certain things to myself and told no one. When I was talking to my
dad, it made me realize that he is the one person I tell most things to because
of the way he communicates with me in that he speaks as though he understood me
exactly. This to me is how determine what I could tell one person but not
another.
After turning off all electronics
for an hour, I was with a friend and noticed that I was tempted within five
minutes to look at my phone. It actually made me anxious not being able to look
at my phone because I am so used to just looking or playing with my phone. I
decided to do my reading homework and saw how well I was able to concentrate
and how fast I finished. In the meantime after thirty minutes of reading, I
just sat back and talked with my friend. After my anxious moments the first ten
minutes it was okay, and kind of peaceful. It was kind of like a break from
everyone because a lot of communication I do is on my phone. I already knew that
not being able to use my phone was going to make me feel certain anxiety
because I am normally shy and when I get anxious I instantly start using my
phone or iPod.
This exercise made me realize that I
am aware of my surroundings and that I pay too much attention on how people
view me. I also saw that the way I communicate with others depends on the type
of personality the other person has. The last part that I noticed was that
electronics are a nuisance when doing homework. It also was nice to take a moment
and look back at myself and who I am.
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