Thursday, March 14, 2013


Jillian Alonzo
March 14,2013
I started my morning off how I always do. I woke up, brushed my teeth, and went to make coffee, except this morning I was conscious of my other five roommates and decided to make enough for everyone. Not really knowing who preferred what type or how dark - I just went for it. Surprisingly that morning was very peaceful in 904, considering the majority of us don't typically get along. After doing this 'kind' task I began to realize how it was so easy. Why don't I always make enough for everyone? I've never really stopped to think of the impact, I just do it. Noticing the peaceful change and harmonious mood in my roommates I was eager to get on with the rest of my day.
The next thing I tried to do was be extra useful all day, if that meant opening the doors for people, helping a friend with homework, holding the elevator or cleaning the dishes in my apartment - I was going to do it. All day I made it a priority, and as a result I was getting some "thank you" but mostly just shrugs and smiles from people who thought I was a doorman or crazy girl stalking the entrance. I usually always open the door for everyone, so I didn't expect a major change but today I was focusing on the respondent. I wanted them to realize my generosity and thank me for my good behavior, but they didn't. I was getting upset and felt like I wasn't being forward with my attempts of being useful. Upset and discouraged I still tried. 
Later that evening I was placed in a uncomfortable situation that I had been avoiding for a while, so it was ironic it would happen today, the day I have to be 100% truthful. My direct roommate is in a long distance relationship. Meeting her boyfriend only a couple of times he seems nice, but I always overhear them arguing on the phone. From the outside I can't be positive who causes the fights and why, but I always see her crying after and it breaks my heart. Long distance relationships are tough, and I know from first hand experience but when you're fighting more then you're loving then thats not a relationship. "Love shouldn't hurt" is a quote from a dating violence website I know about because of a high school assembly, so using that knowledge and task of being extremely 'true'  I told her that. She had approached me late that night when we were about to go to bed and asked "Do you think I'm a bitch?". Looking at her as if she was almost crazy I responded with a obvious "NO!". She laughed a little under her sniffles but I knew that wasn't enough. I started to explain to her that sometimes people say things they don't mean, especially to the ones they care about the most. She nodded her head in agreement but still was upset. I began to try to help and tell her that if her boyfriend really did love her like he said he does, he would never hurt her. That night, even till past 12am I sat up with her to make sure she was okay. We became so close this night, and I even told her stuff I've never told anyone else. That next morning, looking back on that entire day, I felt empowered and just jumped out to bed ready to make a change for the second day in a row.
Doing this iexam really was a huge eye-opener but in a way I didn't expect it. I respect my roommates and everyone on campus, but I never thought they would react so kindly to my true, kind and useful personality. I personally feel like I'm always true, kind and useful but when I go through my day making it a task instead of a habit I start to realize more. People respond kindly to being kind, truthful to being true, and useful to useful. That day I made my habits a command and listened to the response, and that made me happy. "A flower cannot blossom without sunshine" (Max Muller). I can't be happy unless I'm making other people happy. Today was a good experiment, and regardless the response from anyone - I am happy! :)

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