Anna
Bellerive
When I began my day of self-observation, I had the notion
that it would play out similarly to that of Jim Carrey’s day in the movie Liar Liar. Where Fletcher Reede (Jim Carrey), a prominent defense lawyer, is
unable to tell a lie for the entire day after his son’s birthday wish is
granted. As one can imagine, Reede finds himself in many awkward predicaments
throughout the day, and I couldn’t help but think that by staying true to the
assignment, the same would happen to me. Unlike Jim Carrey’s character, I’m
thankfully not a compulsive liar or a lawyer; otherwise my day might not have
gone so smoothly. My preconceived idea that I would be forced to tell the truth
and as a result hurt peoples’ feelings never came true, and I never felt the
need to lie.
Although being
truthful posed no inconvenience, saying only useful things became a slight
annoyance. Unlike the texts between my friends and I, where it is easier to
communicate via text rather than talking face-to face, I found that talking
with my boyfriend Michael via text is much more difficult than if we were to
talk face-to-face. As a result, many of our conversations revolve around the usual
small talk of “what’s up?” and “how was your day?” before we get into an actual
topic to discuss. So when I was unable to use my go-to phrases of
communication, I struggled to find something to talk about. It wasn’t until I
told him about my assignment, and my being able to only say kind, useful and
truthful things, that we were finally able to strike up a conversation. His
reaction consisted of jokingly asking a plethora of questions which I had to
answer truthfully.
This reaction
varied from the reaction of my friend Anthony, when I told him. He instead told
me all about how he once had an assignment similar to mine in which he was
unable to use any form of technology other than a car, even going so far as to
not allow the use of light switches. He then described how difficult and
unpleasant this assignment was. Since I was sworn to kindness, I was unable to
agree with him that I too thought the assignment would be unpleasant, so
instead I remained silent and we soon moved on to more positive topics. I began
to think how often complaints arise in conversations. If I had been able to
speak my mind at how miserable his project sounded, we most likely would have
gone on about all the things we disliked about it (especially the lack of
indoor lighting since I’m afraid of the dark). Instead, by refusing to
acknowledge the negatives, we had a much more pleasant conversation.
I must admit,
that I did have one slip-up while trying to maintain being both truthful and
useful as well as kind. While in our literature class, I was discussing with
Natalya, the poems that were assigned the night before, and amidst this discussion
I admitted that I strongly disliked Walt Whitman’s poem “I Sing the Body
Electric.” I then went on to exclaim that I felt the poem to be nothing more
than a listing of body parts, and that I failed to see how this work was
considered poetry. While my comments were both useful to the question at hand and
truthful to my feelings, they were anything but kind to Whitman. Fast forward a
half hour into our class period, and it was time to discuss the poem I had so
brutally dismissed. After my fellow peers picked it apart in the search for its
true meaning, I began to see the beauty in the poem. I found that the poem
struck me on a deep personal level, for I too share Whitman’s fascination with
the human body and its magnificence. For the rest of class I pondered what I
had just discovered: that my words were neither kind nor truthful. Like
a bully does to their helpless victim, I had failed to see the poem for what it
truly was, and in that failure, denied the work a just critique. It made me
think of what other beauties I may have missed, and whether I had deemed them
ugly too, without a second thought.
This day of
self-reflection brought to my attention just how important words can be. By
speaking strictly useful things, it eliminates the awkward small talk which
adds nothing to a conversation. This day also made me realize just how often
complaints pop up in our conversations, and how difficult it is to avoid
falling into the vicious cycle of negativity. Most importantly I came to the
realization that hurtful words are never able to describe something in their
proper light and that they deny something the justice that it deserves, for
there’s always something better lying below the surface.
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