A Fine Line
I would bet money that 97% of the class went into the second iExamen thinking it would be simple or not any different from any other day. This is because it is easier to fall asleep at night when people believe they are always kind, only say what’s important, and never lie. I think it was a wake up call for everyone, even me. I never wake up with any bad intentions. I make it a point to be the “best that I can be” everyday. The iExamen gave me some guidelines as to how to achieve this.
One thing definitely made me second think my choice of words. I quickly learned there is a fine line between be honest, or true, and kind. Okay not completely! There were a couple instances that the two went hand in hand. I have been meaning to tell a girl from my class that I like her haircut, but I’ve stopped myself because I thought to myself, “that’s so creepy, Val…you’re not even friends with her.” I decided the iExamen was the perfect day. I walked into math class and she was sitting behind me so I said it. And guess what?! I did not feel like a creep, it felt really nice to give someone a compliment and hopefully brighten their day.
Back to the unavoidable fine line between true and kind. Most of the time, as bad as it my sound, the things I really want to say…I refrain. This way, I avoid any problems or awkward confrontations. I guess you could I say I am a firm believer in the phrase, “if you don’t have anything nice to say…don’t say anything at all.” I take the kinder route, whatever that entails. It is because of this that I found myself retreating from conversations or changing the subject. I didn’t make up a lie to satisfy the person on the other end and I also didn’t waste my energy trying twist the words in hopes they would come out kind. In a way, I seemed to just leave it. If someone said something I didn’t like or agree with, I just shrugged it off. I am not going to get in a “tiff” over something so small. My question is did this help or hinder me? Instead of practicing only the kind responses, should I have taken this day to be a bit more confrontational? Should I have expressed all my honest feelings even if that resulted in an issue? I know it would not have caused any long term problems, but as I said before I try to avoid awkward encounters at all cost.
I often wonder if what I say really matters. Does my roommate really care that my cats are the cutest in the entire world and I miss them so much? [They are the cutest and I do miss them so much] Does my friend from home relaxing on spring break want to know about the 3 papers I have due this week? …Probably not. This is where the usefulness comes into play. Not only did I have to stop myself from showing the background of my phone (a picture of Kitty), this elimination of pointless conversation put a little bit on pressure on my word choice. My go-to thing when meeting someone new or seeing someone I haven’t seen in awhile it quickly thinking of annnnytthhhiiinggg we have in common or something funny to get started on the right foot. Let’s just say I’m not sure I made any best friends with my specifically kind, useful, and true restrictions. Except for maybe the girl I complimented, because if someone complimented my haircut I would not forget it!